I've been asking God this question for awhile. Those peaks and valleys we experience in our journey with God can make for a wild ride. We can go from depression to a state of re-energized purpose.
My pastor once said that although God can really use those dramatic moments in life to speak to us, one skill vital to the Christian walk is "learning to plod along". Staying focused on the work without counting on those miraculous "pep talks" from God.
God has certainly done his share of miraculous things in my life, but right now I think he's teaching me to plod along. To be content with the direction he gives only in his word, instead of hoping for a miraculous sign. I'll admit, it's pretty tough on me. Nothing like some valleys I've been in before. In fact, I wouldn't really call this a valley at all. But there's a real challenge for me as I encounter God's "silence".
It's nothing new. The psalmists often ask God, "why are you silent", or "why are you hiding"? God's not afraid of our doubt or confusion. He just doesn't want us to stay there. In Psalm 13, David expresses his feelings to God. He feels forgotten and abandonded. But his feelings don't change the way he thinks. By the end of this short prayer, David commits himself to trusting in God because of who God is. He focuses on the truth to keep himself anchored.
The theme of God's silence has become so significant to me recently that I scrapped one song for "Dark Ritual" that I had ideas for, but wasn't working, and am now developing a song with the theme of God's silence. I think it will be a great addition that will aid the story in Dark Ritual and I'm looking forward to praying my way through the creative process on it as well.
So there's my "deep thought" for the day. Hope you're doing great and living life on purpose!
-Paeter Frandsen
I know just where you're at. During my worst depression last spring, I felt God was so far from my reach and that every evil in the world could touch me. IT was frightening. I recall lying awake n in the middle of the night sensing all that evil circling me after a terrible nightmare when I reade the Psalms. I just read pretty much all of them and was deeply encouraged. Someone told me that during the times of feeling distant from God is when in fact we're the closest to him, because he's so close to us that we can't feel his presence. He's merged or bonded into us. REcently I have experienced times of doubt when I slipped away from the Truth in God. My roomate, a rather confused Pagan, got me wondering about forces of the universe and it just twisted my mind. IT was pretty bad. My mom, a hardcore CAtholic and devout, tells me that during times like the one you're experiencing is a test, like we're wandering through the desert like Jesus did for forty days. A test of faith, she said. IT's a tough time in our lives as Christians but I found makes us twice as strong in the end when we come back around to our Father.
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